The Unfathered

                                 Image result for lonely child pictures

It’s subtle, in many cases imperceptible at first. In younger children the typical inconsistencies appear to contain more emotional expression than any moment calls for. As parents we acknowledge the fury in the outbursts, the seemingly deeper than called for hurt coupled by an overt need for attention, good or bad, an insatiable need for praise, or an almost absolute rejection toward an independent persona.

For many single mothers they relish in the closeness with their child. These women embrace the sought after attention imploring others to be more patient and understanding toward their child.  Mothering is defined as protecting, harboring, and oftentimes overlooking what others, professionals and non-professionals, say about your child’s behaviors.

These unfathered younger children grow to become angry, easily irritated and distracted adolescents. These adolescents often avail themselves of others seemingly angrier, more aggressive, and more rejecting of love and care.  They unconsciously gravitate toward and bond with these personas under unspoken hurt and pain.  An easy alliance given the man that was supposed to love, care and guide has been absent or disconnected. The spirit of the unfathered is diminished of self-worth or anything good. The effects of an unfathered experience reverberate throughout an individual’s life.

Father is more than a person. Father is a verb, an action that informs, secures, and prepares for life. Father may or may not be in the home yet be emotionally disconnected from his children or only available to chastise or harshly correct.

Father is an anchor providing stability in shifting currents. Father is the big sail catching the high winds giving momentum through difficult seas. Father is the belief that anything can be achieved and the hard work of growing up has positive results. Father begins the conversation of who am I. The absent father subtracts from the question becoming who am I not: an impossible query for the Universe to respond to.

Spiritual Family Guidance specializes in reconciling these deep seeded emotional questions of the unfathered. In becoming aware of unconscious motivations an individual begins to correct the diminished spirit. Spirit diminished by false belief comes to light.

Dr. Flannigan is available for individual consultation and can be reached at 404-246-3467 or

Categories: absent fathers, family, father, girls, men, sons, spirituality, therapy, Uncategorized

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